my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
