Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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