New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
