I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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