So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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