your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
