Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
