Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
