My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
