The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
