A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
