Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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