haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
