i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize