I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
