You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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