I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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