and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
