Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
dude. I can hear the air.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
