I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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