VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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