I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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