i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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