And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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