why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
