Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
