a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
