You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
