am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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