He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
