could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize