I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
