Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
