We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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