Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
