I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
