Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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