I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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