He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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