well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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