There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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