Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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