whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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