dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he puts the penis in happiness.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
