There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
