you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
