Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i think i have two assholes
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
