no, he came in my armpit
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
