I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
did i just pee glitter
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
