I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize