Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
