chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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