Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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