yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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