My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
