New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
