He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
