dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This gyro tastes like lonliness
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize