Sry I called you an 8
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
