We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Help. Why am I so naked?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
