I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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