well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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