he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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