Got a toothbrush?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
