I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
