GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
