im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
