we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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