Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
