you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
