everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
