a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
