The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
