Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize