i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
what day is it and did you see me today?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize