playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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